I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
home. puking in laundry basket.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I fill condoms, not promises.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize