A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
