TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
