ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
