Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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