it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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