sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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