Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
