never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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