somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
