I'm going to jail i love you
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
