vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
