is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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