when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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