he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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