for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
