Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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