Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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