Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
