You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Just high enough for therapy.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
