I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
