just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
