apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
