Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
