I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize