some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
