Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
