I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
