I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
