I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
