Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
