Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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