Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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