The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
