Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
