I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
