he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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