What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
