She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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