you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
