You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
