I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Drunk walkin through police station. America
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
