Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My bed smells like the plague
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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