If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
