I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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