my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I wear drunk well.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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