haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
