Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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