Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
