im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
