i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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