yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
