do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
