My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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