I wish I could punch you in the face.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
