it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
