Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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