I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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