Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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