I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
