do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Mom said you looked used
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize