this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
