He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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