She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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