Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
