Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
