this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
