Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
