your parents love me but you hate me
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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