last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
