you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I think i got beer on your cat.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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